In the past few months, my husband and I have been challenged trying to explain to a toddler how credit and debit cards work.

At 31-months-old, our daughter gets eagerly (and impatiently) excited to swipe the card every time walk into a store. Resistance is almost futile. As soon as we get up to the cashier, she’d pull on our clothes and/or attempt all kinds of sweet gestures (how about a big hug while padding your back, daddy?) to get hold of the card. Certainly, her short stature doesn’t stop her from completing her mission.

Once she gets hold of the card, she’d tip-toe higher and higher until her toes are sore, trying to reach the card reader. Sometimes, the cashier couldn’t see her and wondered why we were not making a move to pay. Most of the time, we’d lift her up and help her swipe/insert the card into the card reader. To slow down the line even more, Ruby would insist she’s got the hang of it and refuse to let us help. My husband and I’d watch her missing her aim 98% of the time, until one of us finally loses it and grabs the card away from her so that we can get out of the line. This usually involves lots of crying. If you don’t know any better, the expression on Ruby’s face would typically tell a story of a child being robbed of her favorite belonging.

An interesting and amusing incident happened this past weekend as the three of us were shopping at Target. Every time we enter a store, the following conversation (or a similar version of) occurs:

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What was your money story like growing up? What did your parents and/or grandparents teach you about money? What kind of conversations would you like to have with your child about money? When is a good time to start teaching your child(ren) about money?

My Story with Money

While growing up in China, my parents didn’t talk about money with me and I didn’t ask them questions related to money. I had no reason to. They took care of all my needs (I wasn’t aware of the concept of allowance until I was in my early 20s). There wasn’t much I wanted other than buying snacks at school.

I was 11-years-old when I first stepped inside a bank (with my aunt). That was shortly after I immigrated to the U.S. On that same day, my aunt gave me 37 cents so I could learn the U.S. currency. It was a very memorable experience for me. That 37 cents seemed like a lot of money at the time.

At the age of 13, I started working part-time. By the time I graduated from high school, I had over $4000 in savings. I used some of that money to buy myself a laptop and a camera for college.

When I finished my undergraduate studies, I saved over $10,000 in my bank account. I had scholarships to cover all my tuition, fees and living expenses. I also worked part-time. With that amount of money in my bank account at age 22, I felt rich!

My Husband’s Story with Money

When I was a child, my father was a truck driver and my mother worked at a photo lab. Neither of them had a high paying job, but both tried hard to make sure my brothers and I were taken care of financially. 

Somehow, I learned to be mindful about money as a young child. I recall going to the grocery store with my father and brothers when I was about 6 years-old and paying attention to the unit price of items. I even took items out of the cart that my younger brothers put in and placed them back onto the shelves. When I was 10 years-old, I helped my father balance his checkbook.

At 13-years-old, I had my first part-time job. I worked throughout high school and college. When I was in middle school, my father told me I’d have to find my way to fund my college education. Since that day, I was determined to become the validictorian in my high school class. And I did. I received a full scholarship ride to attend college. Once I graduated from college, I secured a full-time position with the company at which I was working seasonally.

The Money Story I Hope My Daughter Will Have

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Her Daddy’s Influence

My husband is a minimalist. One of his life philosophies is we should consume to live and not live to consume. When he shops, he chooses quality over quantity. If time is not a constraint, he prefers to try to fix a broken object rather than getting a replacement. About 10 years ago, he stopped eating red meat. Each day, he’s mindful of the carbon footprints he leaves behind. I’m not there yet to meet him.

Her Mommy is Doing Her Part

I consider myself a conservationist in some areas of life, but not so much so in other areas. During the early years in our marriage, I had accumulated a lot of disposable stuff, which to this date, I’m still working to declutter. I’ve certainly gotten better in the past year. I used to think having a lot of things filling up the home is comforting. Thanks to my husband’s influence, I see the freedom living in a clutter-free home.

Sometimes, my husband and I still don’t see eye to eye on what we deem necessary. However, I do have some qualities my husband admires and he takes pride in that. He likes that (1) I am a smart shopper and that I negotiate prices; (2) I have general ideas of what most things should cost and I only buy when the price seems right; (3) I never feel like I have to have something right away (if it’s something I need, I look for alternatives); and (4) I think of purchases in terms of lifetime (amortized) costs. 

Together, We Are Stronger

I also don’t like to waste. My husband and I feel disgusted by the amount of stuff and food some people causally discard. This is very evident each time we go out to eat. Sometimes, we would see half a plate of food being left on the table that will soon go into the trash can. We also see a lot of waste in public places, too. Do people really need three pieces of napkin to dry two hands? Why take up two plastic bags when two heads of cabbages can easily fit into one bag? Why throw away an otherwise perfectly fine sweater when a yarn came loose? Does a toddler really need 10 pairs of pants to rotate through a season? The list can go on and on.

At home, we practice conservation. We aren’t perfect, but we try to use up stuff to the last drop if we can. When we do have to throw things away because they’ve gone bad, I don’t feel good inside. It’s not usually about the money, although that stinks, too (at our tax bracket, for each dollar we waste we would have to earn almost $1.75 extra). It’s the fundamentals of being wasteful that bothers me. “Why didn’t we eat the avocado the day before when it was still good? And now, we’ve to throw it in the trash can.”

I certainly want my daughter to grow up and be a conservationist but haven’t put much thought into teaching her about this concept or way of life. I was going to wait until she’s three or four. To my surprise, lately I’ve been noticing small behaviors from her that might show she’s already on her way.

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