Her Daddy’s Influence

My husband is a minimalist. One of his life philosophies is we should consume to live and not live to consume. When he shops, he chooses quality over quantity. If time is not a constraint, he prefers to try to fix a broken object rather than getting a replacement. About 10 years ago, he stopped eating red meat. Each day, he’s mindful of the carbon footprints he leaves behind. I’m not there yet to meet him.

Her Mommy is Doing Her Part

I consider myself a conservationist in some areas of life, but not so much so in other areas. During the early years in our marriage, I had accumulated a lot of disposable stuff, which to this date, I’m still working to declutter. I’ve certainly gotten better in the past year. I used to think having a lot of things filling up the home is comforting. Thanks to my husband’s influence, I see the freedom living in a clutter-free home.

Sometimes, my husband and I still don’t see eye to eye on what we deem necessary. However, I do have some qualities my husband admires and he takes pride in that. He likes that (1) I am a smart shopper and that I negotiate prices; (2) I have general ideas of what most things should cost and I only buy when the price seems right; (3) I never feel like I have to have something right away (if it’s something I need, I look for alternatives); and (4) I think of purchases in terms of lifetime (amortized) costs. 

Together, We Are Stronger

I also don’t like to waste. My husband and I feel disgusted by the amount of stuff and food some people causally discard. This is very evident each time we go out to eat. Sometimes, we would see half a plate of food being left on the table that will soon go into the trash can. We also see a lot of waste in public places, too. Do people really need three pieces of napkin to dry two hands? Why take up two plastic bags when two heads of cabbages can easily fit into one bag? Why throw away an otherwise perfectly fine sweater when a yarn came loose? Does a toddler really need 10 pairs of pants to rotate through a season? The list can go on and on.

At home, we practice conservation. We aren’t perfect, but we try to use up stuff to the last drop if we can. When we do have to throw things away because they’ve gone bad, I don’t feel good inside. It’s not usually about the money, although that stinks, too (at our tax bracket, for each dollar we waste we would have to earn almost $1.75 extra). It’s the fundamentals of being wasteful that bothers me. “Why didn’t we eat the avocado the day before when it was still good? And now, we’ve to throw it in the trash can.”

I certainly want my daughter to grow up and be a conservationist but haven’t put much thought into teaching her about this concept or way of life. I was going to wait until she’s three or four. To my surprise, lately I’ve been noticing small behaviors from her that might show she’s already on her way.

Want to read more on what is life like for a child growing up in a money savvy household? I invite you to join me at my other blog by clicking here. 

Five Ways My Toddler is Practicing Conservation

It’s Time to Turn Off the Faucet, Please: My daughter loves taking bubble baths and she gets a treat once a week. A couple weeks ago, I let the bathtub faucet ran longer than usual as I was trying to finish flossing and clean my teeth. My daughter was in the bathroom with me. She kept opening the sliding door to check on the bathwater, came back by my side to watch me floss, poked her head in to look at the bathtub once again and came back by my side. She repeated this several times. Then, she suddenly called out, “All done! All done! Water all done’! When I looked toward her way, I noticed the water level on the bathtub was higher than usual (for her bath). Once Ruby got my attention, she pointed at the faucet, and repeated herself, “All done! All done! Water all done!”

Neither my husband nor I had specifically instructed our daughter on how much water to use for bath. She must have been observing the usual amount we fill up the bathtub each time and concluded that’s the way things are done.

Lights Off, Please: Recently, Ruby assigned herself a new responsibility in the household. She makes a point to turn off the light switch in each room when we exit. Take for instance when I get her on a stool by the bathroom sink to wash her hands. After the wash, Ruby would get down on the floor, dries her hands with the towel nearby, picks up her stool and turns off the light switch before she closes the bathroom door as she steps into the hallway.

I don’t know how long she has been wanting to do this/being aware. She might be doing this for fun or she might be doing this trying to imitate her daddy and mommy. Whatever the reason, she feels very proud about her new responsibility. Her recent growth in height has certainly make this task much easier for her.

Use Only What You Need: My husband and I have been teaching Ruby how to blow her runny nose. Sometimes, my husband would accidentally hand Ruby two pieces of tissues at once (this usually happens when he is multitasking). In such incidences, Ruby would keep one piece for her own use while putting the extra piece back in the tissue box. I just watch her in amazement and wonder.

Licking My Plate (and Spoon and Folk) Clean: Ever since Ruby’s able to hold a utensil and eat on her own (under our supervision), she has been very good at cleaning out the food on her plate and bowl. She also licks her spoon or folk clean before she puts it down on her tray.

I also noticed similar behaviors when she drinks milk from her bottle. There’s a small gap between the bottle straw and the bottom of the bottle, and Ruby usually tries very hard to tilt the bottle to the side and such trying to get more milk out of the bottle (even though that might be physically impossible). Sometimes when we notice that, we’d just open the cap with the straw attachment and let her drink from the cup.

Passing Down is the Next Best Thing: My husband and I have been in a huge decluttering mode lately. This is way overdue, especially when it comes to clearing Ruby’s stuff. Each time before I put away Ruby’s belongings, I do my best to inform her that those items are too small for her or that she has similar items that are even more fun to play with. For items that are still in good condition, I’ve been telling her that we will be giving those to her “mei-mei” (my cousin’s 1-year-old daughter). Ruby would nod her head letting me know she understands.

This past weekend, I was doing another round of cleaning with her drawers of clothes. As Ruby was helping me, she would place each clothing item in front of her body and looks at herself in front of the mirror. When she noticed an item that was too small for her size, she would come over to me and said, “gei mei-mei” (to give little sister).

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I don’t exactly know what has been going on inside my daughter’s head (It’s times like these that I wish I’m a neurologist!). I might be interpreting her messages all wrong. None of that matters. I like the little person she’s growing into and she makes me a very proud mama.

Aside from that, I’m also being reminded of something very important being a parent. My husband and I have discussions daily, strategically planning out how we want to raise our daughter and along the way, instill in her many of the values we both share. What I’m being reminded of in the process sharing this story with you is that parenting through modeling is very powerful.

When I was a psychology student, I learned about the concept of observational learning, where children learn through observing/watching the behaviors of others and model back those behaviors. In the example of my daughter, she has been watching my husband and I going about our everyday life and in her head, she has been forming schemas about what mommy and daddy do. In turn, she models her behavior after us.

And the best part? She calls on us when we slip/forget/get distracted. And the downside? Being aware that this is one way my daughter learns from us, my husband and I now have to be more mindful of how we carry ourselves when our daughter is nearby. We have a great responsibility to her.

How are you communicating with your children letting them know what’s important to you and your spouse?

What strategies have you found working well for you and your family?