My family and I recently visited Washington D.C. One day, my daughter and I had an engaging conversation on money, exchange and delayed gratification. And I’ve decided to share that conversation here in hope that you and your children might benefit.

The Situation

The conversation occurred as the three of us were walking along the National Mall, while passing by the carousel. My soon-to-be-3-years-old toddler loves carousels and Ferris wheels. As anticipated, Ruby asked me if she could ride the carousel. I fell conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted her to join the other kids in the carousel area and have an even greater time during our visit. On the other hand, we were pressed for time as we had already made plans with other family members for dinner and a nighttime bus tour.

I didn’t want to just respond to Ruby with a plain “no”. The three of us were having a great day, and I wasn’t going to let that moment ruin the beautiful memory. I had to quickly come up with a strategy to distract her, and give her enough reasoning to move along (both physically and emotionally). All meanwhile, conveying my words and wishes in a manner that she’d understand.

Moreover, I didn’t want to do a quick fix. I have learned that Ruby’s memory is pretty good nowadays. There were times in the past when I didn’t do a good job explaining to my daughter why she was denied of something, and she’d cry on and off for 30 plus minutes until her feelings got resolved. I wasn’t going to let something similar happen right there then.

The Conversation

Below detailed how the conversation went (in Mandarin):

Ruby: Mama, can I ride the carousel?

Me: You want to ride the carousel? Did you bring money? You’d need money to purchase a ticket.

Ruby: Oh, I’d need money to purchase a ticket? Is it a lot of money? I don’t have any money. Baba (daddy) has money.

Me: Baba does have money. However, that’s baba’s money and not your money.

Ruby: Oh, I understand. I’d need to go to work to earn money, and then I’d have money. But I can’t go to work now because I’m a da jie jie (big girl) and not an adult.

Me: You’re correct. You’re still a da jie jie and not yet an adult. When you grow up, you can work and earn money.

Ruby: Oh! I can work and earn money…and…and I can have money to buy ticket! Thank you, mama.

Me: [Attempting to carry on the conversation so to further distract Ruby] What kind of work would you like to do to make money?

Ruby: I can use tools to make money [I recently read her a book about a girl using her tools to make magnificent things. Ruby has also seen her baba and construction workers using tools and she was fascinated with the pieces].

Me: How are you going to use tools to make money?

Ruby: I can use tools to fix rockets [Lately, she has also been fascinated with anything space-related].

Me: Wow, that sounds like an amazing occupation. Hao bang ya (very good)!

…and just like that, before we knew it, we passed by the carousel area and on our way into the Smithsonian Castle. Later that day, we also visited the Washington Monument and the area nearby Old Ebbitt Grill (also dined at this restaurant; highly recommend and make reservation in advance). We ended the day by getting aboard a nighttime bus tour, and didn’t get back to our hotel until passed 11p.m.

Some After Thoughts

I secretly enjoyed the conversation with my daughter and took pride in how I handled the situation. I didn’t just deny my daughter with a plain “no”.

I tried to reason with her and succeeded in distracting her away from her immediate desire.

I tried to help her further understand and develop early money concepts.

When that segment of our conversation ended, I had a pretty good feeling that my daughter was satisfied and content with my elaborated response (there was no delayed hurt feelings on this incident). Furthermore, I’ve gained insights to my daughter’s knowledge of money and her interests (at least for that time being).

Those moments were indeed beautiful and instructional. I encourage you to have money conversations with your child whenever and wherever opportunities provide. My husband and I have been building money scripts with our daughter for months. We have been very happy with the work we have done.

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