On the Path to Financial Independence
As you work toward your financial goals, does it sometimes seem like you’re sacrificing too much today just so you can have a better life tomorrow?
If that’s the case for you, you might be having mixed feelings. I know I’m too familiar with these feelings. A bunch of high days were mixed in with a bunch of low days. There were times when I wished my days away as I eagerly waited to taste the life of having reached millionaire status. During those periods of time, I was not living in or enjoying the present moment. I did not want to spend any money other than the absolute necessary. All I focused on was reaching the million-dollars goal. In that process, I neglected myself in many ways. I went through emotional struggles and have shed lots of tears.
The path to financial independence is not an easy one. There’s no shortcut. Even those who are very disciplined and hardcore (with high savings rates) still take anywhere from 7 to 20 years to get there.
For some of us, we’re okay taking our time. A 20-year horizon is not so bad. For some of us, even a two-year time frame is almost unbearable (and each of us have our own reasons). If you’re in the latter group, sometimes, it’s easy to get into the danger zone of depriving ourselves when we think we’re only being frugal (the gray area between being frugal and feeling self-deprived can be blurry).
When prolonged self-deprivation is left unnoticed, we could be putting our health and our financial plans in jeopardy. Not only is self-deprivation unhealthy, this behavior can lead to the resentment of oneself and others who are in the same team as you (such as your spouse and/or children).
Recently, I caught myself going down the self-deprivation slope. My emotions were strong. In this article, I’m sharing my story. I also recommend three ways for you to stay on course to reach your savings goal without going into self-deprivation mode.
The Simple Pleasures in Life
A few days ago, I arrived home and cried on my husband’s shoulder. I told him I felt like I was living paycheck to paycheck. My husband had this very confused and concerned look on his face.
I went on to explain to him: “On my way home I walked by a bakery and wanted to buy a loaf of baguette but couldn’t bring myself to spend $2.50. While riding the bus, I felt sad and sorry for myself. At that moment, I felt financially worse than when I was living on a student budget (about $1800/month in 2011 money). I started resenting having introduced you to the early retirement community. Ever since, we’ve been working so hard to make our current financial numbers work for us. We’ve even been looking into various ways to trim our expenses and make our savings work even harder for us, just so we can leave our 9-5 jobs even earlier…I’ve been feeling suffocated…”
Apparently, those conversations and financial planning have greatly affected not only my spending desires and behaviors, but my psychological well-being, too. Even just about a year ago, I took so much joy bringing home a loaf of baguette and fresh flowers once or twice a week. To me, that was simple pleasure and a sign of “making it”. It was the lifestyle I wanted—filling a grocery shopping bag with beautiful fresh flowers and baked goods and bringing them home to enjoy with my husband throughout the evening.
Nowadays, I feel poor and restrictive (I’m fully aware that’s it’s all in my head). We have a lot on paper, but I don’t feel I should tap into that money. That money is going to generate the passive income we’ll be living on once we leave our W-2 employments. I feel like a hen guarding her eggs.
However, both my husband and I agreed that this kind of mentality and behavior aren’t healthy for me or our marriage. We need to work together to shift my way of thinking about our finances.
Three Ways Staying on Course Reaching Your Savings Goals without going into Self-Deprivation Mode
First, money is a limited resource for most of us. Even if we have a lot of money, we don’t always get everything we want. While on your way to increase your savings rate, decide on what’s most important to you (and your family) and focus your mental energy on the things and/or experiences that bring you the most enjoyment. For me, being able to have fresh baked goods brings me more enjoyment and pleasure than acquiring a new pair of jeans for my wardrobe. As another example, spending $15 to ride a train with my husband and daughter makes me happy. My daughter loves trains. Being able to see the excitement and happiness in her eyes means everything to me, even if that means making three cheese and veggie burgers at home rather than going out for brunch.
Second, continue to make purchases that bring you the most joy, but do this in smaller doses or with less frequency. My daughter absolutely loves raspberries. Every time we take her to the market, she always asks for raspberries. If you like raspberries yourself or have seen the price tag, these are some of the most expensive fruits. A box of 6 oz. organic raspberries costs anywhere from $2.50 to $4, depending on where you live and the season. So, instead of giving raspberries to my daughter every day or every other day, she gets raspberries once or twice a week (when they’re on sale in the market).
Third, think about the bigger picture and the ‘why’. What can financial independence allow you to do? What does that life look like for you? For me, it’s about spending time with my husband and daughter and being able to travel for months at a time without having to get permission from my employer.
As you’re working toward financial independence, don’t lose sight of your larger goals. Restructuring your life to allow for a higher savings rate and sticking to the plan can be (and will be) hard, especially when your family members and/or friends don’t share or understand your goals. You (and your family) will need to be strong. Stay focused.
Depending on your current financial standing, the journey can be a long one. When you are feeling a little (mentally) weak, think about your ‘why’—why do you want to pursue financial independence? Make sure your ‘why’ is very strong and convincing to you. It’s okay to revise your savings goal(s) as you move along the journey. Make a plan that works (doable) for you and keeps you accountable.
If you need to, do whatever you have to do so you are being reminded of your ‘why’ once or several times throughout the day. I have three reminders and they are: (1) life is short and unpredictable—the longer we live, the more tragedy we witness (in our own lives and the lives of those we love and care about), and each time, I’m being reminded of how precious our time on earth is (there’s a saying that goes like, “we can always make more money, but we can’t make more time”, (2) my daughter—there’s so much I want to show her and teach her, and (3) my husband—very blessed to have this amazing man in my life whom I want to share all life’s great adventures with every moment of every day!
What is something you would really like to have now, but cannot bring yourself to buy? Is it attainable (financially)?
What is it about this ‘something’ that appeals to you and keeps bringing you back to it?
What are you doing about this desire? Is the behavior healthy?
If this ‘something’ really means a lot to you, can you restructure your life so that you can make the purchase possible?
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